What I learned in 2010

I have to admit that 2010 was not the best year. In fact, it just might qualify as one of the WORST years I can remember. But, with bad times, come lessons learned. Hard lessons. Lessons that I don't wish to repeat. But nevertheless, they are growing experiences that hopefully will make the future a little better. At least, I hope so. I have to believe that there is always good that comes from the bad. Otherwise I just feel like crap.

So here are a couple things I learned in 2010:

1. Money comes and goes (or in my case, it just goes), but family is with you no matter what. Starting a business really sucks. Ask any entrepenuer. But you do it because you have visions and goals and lots of faith. You have to do without so that years down the road you are rich like Bill Gates. You sacrifice a lot. A lot. You do whatever it takes to make ends meet....including selling your grandma's piano. Your kids wear hand-me-downs (which my kids so anyway). You stay in to a watch a Redbox on Friday night instead of a nice night out. You make homemade pizza instead of ordering in. You make a Sunday turkey meal last all week by making turkey soup, turkey casserole and turkey sandwiches. You have a "homemade" Christmas where you have the kids make gifts for each other instead of store-bought toys. You catch my drift.

But with all those sacrifices come a stronger bond between members of your family. Kids pull together to create gifts from things they already own. Your grocery budget is cut in half, but you eat healthier and spend more time around the kitchen table. You show your family that they are more important than great-grandma by giving up the piano. You spend nights playing games instead of sitting at a movie theater with buckets of popcorn (which is outrageously expensive, I might add). The kids, and maybe even your spouse, learn to cook from scratch and feel the pride that comes with not burning the bisquits. These are things that are hard to learn without actually HAVING to do them. They come from necessity. They last forever.

2. You find out who your true friends are. Those who know you are struggling and offer to listen when you are frustrated, or offer to babysit while you plan your coupon clipping-money-saving grocery trips so you can shop without extra "helpers", or someone who might offer a trip to the park with the you and kids to get you out of the house. They want to go to lunch so you actually get out of your pajamas and do your hair. They don't judge or gossip. They pray for you. And most important, they let you know that they care.

3. You develop talents you didn't know you had. Like hemming pants, refinishing furniture, putting a new starter in your van, using wheat in lots of new recipes and finding ways to barter. I'm willing to work for what I need. Some people aren't. Some let pride get in the way. One of the first things that go out the window is pride. And that is what stops people from surviving and thriving.

4. My kids have learned to appreciate what they have and learned that it either takes money or hard work to get what they want. They've also learned that we work as a family. They have chores. The older kids look for babysitting jobs, mowing lawns, pet-sitting...you name it. They know it is a treat to go out to eat or see a movie. Not saying they are perfect, but they are pretty darn close.

5. This year I learned to be involved in the finances. I quit doing the bills years ago because it gave me such anxiety. I quit asking questions. I quit wanting to know what was happening at work. But to be uneducated about money is just plain stupid. I've always made my own spending money selling on eBay, so I would just spend what I had and not worry about the rest. I would let Michael deal with the big stuff and I took care of anything the kids needed, food, gas, entertainment. But I was missing the bigger picture. Now I am a partner in finances so I know what needs to go where and when. I feel so much more control and power and that is totally cool.

So although 2010 will go down as the year from...well...hell, I hope that I was able to take away from it all some life-changing lessons. My family means the world to me. Stuff is just stuff. The more you have of it, the more you need to clean. I love my home just the way it is. It is warm, comfortable, lived-in to the fullest. The crayons on the wall tell a story. The tiny hole in the countertop has a history (from me with a powerdrill). The wood floors have gouges from someone riding a bike inside. Even the stains on the carpet remind me of playing the Wii for family night and someone spilling my coke.

Sure, one day I will get new carpet, paint over the wall "art" and upgrade the kitchen countertops to granite. But hopefully those memories don't fade and hopefully we have many, many more years together to create new ones.